A possible Farewell?

This blog had been dead for so long, I don’t think that it’s possible for me to revive it. In all honesty, if I accomplish this, it would once again fall into obscurity anyhow. Regardless, I’ll post something so that it isn’t wasting useful space on the internet.

I’ve never felt so obligated to post something, and this feeling wont go away until I do. Even if it is my last post.

I’ve lived this entire summer on the two sides of a mirror, able to look at myself and the people that I know. The ones I love, I remembered why I love them. And then at times I questioned why I loved them, knowing that I had no choice in it either way. No matter how annoyed they get with me, or vice versa, it will always be the same. I have to remind myself this as I prepare to confess a devastating truth to them.

In reality, it isn’t all that bad, and for personal reasons I won’t list it here. It made me question my sanity, but now I’ve learned to heavily question the sanity of those around me. My conclusion is that we’re all insane according to some touchstone, some standard that we separately follow. I to you, and you to me. But that is okay. It is fine. I don’t love any less, and neither should you.

All of this to say that my dilemma is not the truth itself. My dilemma is how to present it. It is not something that is easily said over dinner, nor something that can be told in passing. It’s one of those things when the time is never right and the people are never ready for it. Not even me. Yet it seems the longer it remains secret, the bigger ripple it will cause through the world. And with a bigger ripple, the length of time also forms a heavy silence within me. The only way is to let it out, let it pass, and hopefully move on. With that, I bid a possible farewell. At least for a long time until my return. At this moment I don’t really know.