A possible Farewell?

This blog had been dead for so long, I don’t think that it’s possible for me to revive it. In all honesty, if I accomplish this, it would once again fall into obscurity anyhow. Regardless, I’ll post something so that it isn’t wasting useful space on the internet.

I’ve never felt so obligated to post something, and this feeling wont go away until I do. Even if it is my last post.

I’ve lived this entire summer on the two sides of a mirror, able to look at myself and the people that I know. The ones I love, I remembered why I love them. And then at times I questioned why I loved them, knowing that I had no choice in it either way. No matter how annoyed they get with me, or vice versa, it will always be the same. I have to remind myself this as I prepare to confess a devastating truth to them.

In reality, it isn’t all that bad, and for personal reasons I won’t list it here. It made me question my sanity, but now I’ve learned to heavily question the sanity of those around me. My conclusion is that we’re all insane according to some touchstone, some standard that we separately follow. I to you, and you to me. But that is okay. It is fine. I don’t love any less, and neither should you.

All of this to say that my dilemma is not the truth itself. My dilemma is how to present it. It is not something that is easily said over dinner, nor something that can be told in passing. It’s one of those things when the time is never right and the people are never ready for it. Not even me. Yet it seems the longer it remains secret, the bigger ripple it will cause through the world. And with a bigger ripple, the length of time also forms a heavy silence within me. The only way is to let it out, let it pass, and hopefully move on. With that, I bid a possible farewell. At least for a long time until my return. At this moment I don’t really know.

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FINALS are here already?

Well, I’m just going to stop apologizing for my delayed posts, because in all actuality, they will probably become more frequent.

This past few weeks has been tough because of the curse that has plagued young people around the world. FINALS. Studying the week before…I do not advice it. Start earlier! Especially if you are incapable of remembering things from four months ago (Like me!)

But this week has been surprisingly low key. Last week was hell week in a very literal sense. I had a lot to do.

-Being in the school play (getting home at 11-o-clock every night)

-Staying up until 1:00 am studying for tests

-Taking tests on 4-5 hours of sleep

-Cast Party (couldn’t go, because I was too tired)

Luckily, my friends and I don’t have a lot of drama going on. Well, actually, there is always some long-running drama, I just choose to ignore it unless they need some sort of support. I’m always the observer and rarely am I ever in the center of the drama. Most times this pleases me, but every once in while I just get bored and infuse myself into the drama. (I know, it’s not right.) 🙂

This is a pathetic excuse for an entry. They’ll get better after this Hell-ish few weeks.

List of Fours

Well, I never thought it would be so difficult to blog every other day, but man things really get hectic.

Anway,

I was tagged to do this really cool thingy, so here it goes. I didn’t realize that you were supposed to copy a paste, sooooo I made up questions. Too much work to redo it. 🙂

4 bands I love:

Pinback

The Klaxons

The Dears

Kaiser Chiefs

4 countries I want to visit:

Italy

Spain

Guatemala

India

4 people I would like to meet (dead and alive):

Barbara Stanwick

Marlon Brando

Hayden Christensen

Kate Winslet

4 books I’ve read recently (and liked):

A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess

Invisible Cities by Italo Calvino

Beloved by Toni Morrison

The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald

4 Old Movies I love:

Gilda (1946)

The Lady Eve (1941)

High Society (1956)

A streetcar named desire (1951)

4 Religions That I somehow connect with:

Islam

Judaism

Hinduism

Buddhism

(if i could add more I would)

4 majors I’m considering:

Linguistics

Art History

Creative Writing

Social Sciences (Archeology)

4 common scenarios of LIFE that I love:

No school

thunderstorms (the kind when the sky gets really dark in daytime)

Sneaking Out

Making S’mores

4 Favorite Foods:

Veggie Burgers

Alfredo Pasta

Chocolate Chip Cookies (warm with soy or regular milk)

Cheese Enchiladas

4 places I’d rather be at this moment:

On a beach with a bonfire (making s’mores)

At a bookstore with unlimited shopping money

A fancy restaurant (that’s not in America) sipping a glass of wine

Strolling in the rain with a significant other

Why Chill?

When it’s been one of those extremely hellish weeks, it’s essential for me to have some ‘chill time’. Testing weeks are always like this for me, and considering they happen just about every two weeks, I am officially a connoisseur at chilling.

Now of course there are the methods of counting to ten and taking deep long breaths- and then there are the ways that are more realistic, and work better for some people. I don’t know about anyone else out there, but inhaling deep breaths just makes me panic even more.  So instead of hyperventilating I try other things such as… Continue reading

Why Be Organized?

It’s a little unbelievable to me that I managed to successfully organize something for my friends and I to do tomorrow. Now, granted that we are not completely in sync on the details, there is still open room for disaster. ‘Horton Hears a Who’ has disaster written all over it, but we’ll give it a shot.

(I’m not sure why I chose this particular movie. I guess I was sort of suggesting it as a joke last Saturday when I was sitting around aimlessly talking to my friends online. It popped up and here we are, going to see it tomorrow.)

I’m really excited not because of the movie. I’m just really glad for the opportunity to hang out with them. It seems that today all of this technology has created distance between the younger generation, yet at the same time I guess it connects us at a different level.
I’m one of those types of people who hates talking on the phone with people because of the five minute conversation gaps when your friend is watching Gossip Girl. I prefer face to face, in person communication…so my friends are always upset that I don’t call them. IT’S NOT MY THING GUYS. sorry.

I can’t text message because my dad would shoot me in the face and take something more precious than life away (like my computer). I do like AIM, but not everyone has a screenname and it’s only fun for like…an hour unless you have a really intense conversation, which is almost impossible with the lack of emotion in conversational instant messaging.

Continue reading

Why Make A Blog?

The reasons that I decided to create this blog, which no one will really see.
+ I had only one blog that I really stuck to, and although no one reads them I find it liberating to be able to write abstractly about things that effect me.
+ I’m a writer, so any practice I can get will ultimately help me.
+ I don’t really have a best friend with whom I could share these feelings, descriptions, and expectations of life.
+ Don’t get me wrong, I have friends. But I haven’t had a “Bestie” since seventh grade. I am now in 11th and it really sort of sucks.
+ I’m not on here looking for friendship, but any sign that someone out there is reading is exciting.
+ I’m thinking perhaps I shouldn’t begin my postings with something like this.

I wanted to do something different, but I do intend to explain the title of the blog.

The title means a lot to me, because of it’s metaphorical meaning. I can not assume anything about the reader’s intellegence, therefore I will put the definition of Touchstone to possibly remind, reassure, introduce, or refresh.

Touchstone: 1 : a black siliceous stone related to flint and formerly used to test the purity of gold and silver by the streak left on the stone when rubbed by the metal 2 : a test or criterion for determining the quality or genuineness of a thing 3 : a fundamental or quintessential part or feature.

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/touchstone

Now as the touchstone can identify genuineness, it is important that people are also able to distinguish the true quality of the things in life. Although something may look dazzling, sparkling with the glint of newly polished gold, there can be much deceptiveness in it. It can be wrapped in a tainted aura that can only be decieved by the touchstone, and at times these things are hard to catch.
It is beneficial for people to have such an insight on their own lives. Elements that surround them daily are the pieces of gold and silver constantly in question, and our better judgement is the touchstone, black and heavy with a secret knowlegde. It is something that can not be imitated. By writing things out I find my own tablet of touchstone, and I am better able to assess happenings that occur daily.

Of course it is rare that one finds pure gold. But just as 24 carats of gold are charming, a single carat looks just as elegant.